Car Review: 2017 Rolls-Royce Wraith Black Badge - Driving
2017 Rolls-Royce
As sporty as a Rolls-Royce gets
Pros Uhm, just about everything
Cons Well, if I sold the house, cashed in the RRSPs and harvested a few frankly unnecessary organs, I just might have enough to own a Roller
Value for money Jeez, how do you put a "value" on a Rolls-Royce? That's like trying to determine the value of the Mona Lisa. It's either way too much or not nearly enough
What would I change? More leather? More power? I'm not sure what I to ask for. In a pinch, I'd say more trunk space, because when I was moving my friend's bedroom furniture, things got a little tight
How I would spec it? Any Roller will do, of course, but I'd for sure opt for the Starlight Headliner option. At the very least it's a conversation starter
Offered the opportunity to drive a Rolls-Royce Wraith for the weekend, I did what every other slightly insecure, couldn't-afford-one-if-my-house-appreciated-1,000-percent autojournalist would do. I drove the Wraith pretty much anywhere that I might lord my importance — nay, superiority — over pretty much everyone I knew.
OK, I'm not quite that much of a douche and what I really wanted was to allow all my friends — virtually all with zero other chance to every sit in, let alone drive around in — the ultimate experience in automotive luxury. Oh, there might have been a soupcon of the aforementioned douchiness, but I swear that my heart was, let's say, about 90 per cent in the right place.
However, what started out as an exercise in outright douchness morphed into a learning experience for me; an abject lesson in what others, less fortunate than I, consider hedonistic in an automobile. So while I, a technocrat at heart, might marvel Roll-Royce's decision added a second bulkhead to the engine compartment to minimize the noise, vibration and harshness from an engine already renowned for its smoothness — BMW's twin-turbocharged V12 — as the height of indulgence, no one else said a damned thing about how quiet the Wraith was. Presumably, it was expected.
2017 Rolls-Royce Wraith Black Badge
Chris Balcerak, Driving
2017 Rolls-Royce Wraith Black Badge
Chris Balcerak, Driving
2017 Rolls-Royce Wraith Black Badge
Chris Balcerak, Driving
2017 Rolls-Royce Wraith Black Badge
Chris Balcerak, Driving
2017 Rolls-Royce Wraith Black Badge
Chris Balcerak, Driving
2017 Rolls-Royce Wraith Black Badge
Chris Balcerak, Driving
2017 Rolls-Royce Wraith Black Badge
Chris Balcerak, Driving
2017 Rolls-Royce Wraith Black Badge
Chris Balcerak, Driving
2017 Rolls-Royce Wraith Black Badge
Chris Balcerak, Driving
2017 Rolls-Royce Wraith Black Badge
Chris Balcerak, Driving
Making friends with the 2017 Rolls-Royce Wraith Black Badge.
David Booth, Driving
Nor did anyone give a rat's you-know-what that the eight-speed automatic transmission is not guided by satellite navigation that it might downshift before you get to the next corner. Indeed, other than a few of the most obvious debauches — leather that induces a sudden desire for naked frottage, a ride that makes pillows seem harsh, etc. — few of the things my victims … err, friends, pointed out would have ranked on my top ten of Rolls-Royce attributes.
Case in point – I found the supposed speed of the Wraith, which despite being twice-turbocharged, a little disappointing. After all, it does weigh almost as much as a small tank which will blunt any charge and it is, befitting Rolls-Royce's desire for a calm cabin, a little slow off the line.
But try telling that to Monique, a student in my Saturday morning fitness class and one of Atlas Boxing's prime female pugilists. She was all agog every time I put my foot into it, waxing lyrical about velocity and telephone poles and marveling at the Wraith's "incredible" speed. It's not like the 28-year-old registered nurse has no experience with performance cars, having owned turbocharged Mercedes and Volkswagens in the past. Nonetheless, that big V12 was what impressed her most.
And I suppose, I really should give the Wraith its due. Despite my ambivalence, a 2,440 kilogram behemoth to hit 100 km/h from rest in just over four seconds is pretty incredible stuff, especially since it is accompanied by not the slightest whiff of untoward drama; that aforementioned double bulkhead obviously works. After all, that big 6.6-litre V12 does pump out 624 horsepower, making it the most powerful engine ever tucked into a Rolls-Royce engine bay.
Of course, Rolls-Royce would prefer that Monique have found the power merely "adequate" — the term the company long used to describe its engine's power output whenever asked for specifics — anything more bordering on the indelicate. Indeed, other than the reserve power gauge — Rolls refuses to use a tachometer, instead preferring to offer you an accounting of how much power you have in reserve, rather than how much you're producing — flat-lining at zero and lesser cars disappearing into your rearview, there's little to indicate that you're luxuriating at a heady rate of knots.
Meanwhile, Gina, owner of that very same boxing club, just loved the Starlight Headliner option. Essentially, Rolls-Royce takes about 1,000 pinpoint small LEDs, caches them underneath the perforated leather roof liner and creates a star gazing illusion inside the cabin for those that wished they had a convertible. It's incredibly effective; at night, it's like driving around in your own personal Hubble Observatory, only you never have to worry about a cloudy evening. Trés cool. In fact, even though Gina was especially wowed by this feature, she pretty much was thoroughly impressed by how spoiled the truly rich are – especially upon learning the option cost a cool $17,000. For many — actually most — of the proletariat who were subjected to my braggadocio, that would have been more than they have ever spent on an entire car.
2017 Rolls-Royce Wraith Black Badge
Chris Balcerak, Driving
2017 Rolls-Royce Wraith Black Badge
Chris Balcerak, Driving
2017 Rolls-Royce Wraith Black Badge
Chris Balcerak, Driving
2017 Rolls-Royce Wraith Black Badge
Chris Balcerak, Driving
2017 Rolls-Royce Wraith Black Badge
Chris Balcerak, Driving
2017 Rolls-Royce Wraith Black Badge
Chris Balcerak, Driving
2017 Rolls-Royce Wraith Black Badge
Chris Balcerak, Driving
2017 Rolls-Royce Wraith Black Badge
Chris Balcerak, Driving
2017 Rolls-Royce Wraith Black Badge
Chris Balcerak, Driving
2017 Rolls-Royce Wraith Black Badge
Chris Balcerak, Driving
2017 Rolls-Royce Wraith Black Badge
Chris Balcerak, Driving
Meanwhile, PG — a Philippine professional in the style of Manny Pacquiao — who works in a Hyundai dealership, marveled at the leather and wood. Never mind that Hyundai has done a wonderful job creating its luxury Genesis lineup, which easily competes with the Mercedes and BMWs of the world. But they still don't have anything to compete with leather that Rolls-Royce claims comes only from Bavarian bulls raised him in the mountains far away from blemish-inducing mosquitos. Come to think of it, nobody else does. Nor do other automakers hand braze the exterior body panels and coat said steel — the Wraith is based on the Phantom, itself based on the BMW 7 Series — in multile coats of hand-sanded and polished paint. No, you don't take a Roller to Bob's Body Re pair and Bait Shoppe after a fender-bender.
Meanwhile, away from Toronto's home of pugilism, my dad was most impressed that Rolls still supplies sterling-handled umbrellas with each car. In the Wraith, they're built in the front fender frames – on both sides – running parallel in the bodywork to the front fender. That's because the doors are of the "suicide" variety and open from the rear. In other words, open the door and out pokes the head of an easily removed umbrella to make sure that not one drop of rain touches your pampered head as you exit. It was the first thing dad asked about, mainly because I got him one — complete with the Rolls-Royce logo emblazoned on its handle — for Christmas one year. It occupied place of pride in his golf bag for years, so much so that he would often hope for rain so he could whip it out on the first tee, looking for a competitive advantage.
Of course, said suicide doors — "Wow, look, they open from the rear!" — impressed one and all, even more so because they're power operated. Theresa, my neighbour two doors down, was adamant that she needed a ride in the big Roller. But when she got in, her shortness of stature prevented her from manually closing the door; because they pivot from the rear, the handle is, like, a mile away. So, she was completely taken with the fact that Rolls-Royce has thought of everything by providing a button beside the A-pillar that electrically closes the door for you. In fact, if the passenger is particularly self-slaking — read: lazy — the driver has control of the passenger door so your treated-in-the-manner-they'd-like-to-be-accustomed-to passenger doesn't even have to reach for the switch. Think of its as an electronic Jeeves always ready to close the door for you.
Helping out friends with the 2017 Rolls-Royce Wraith Black Badge.
Then there was Steve, whose 12-year-old, 60,000 kilometre Kawasaki Versys is surely a perfect representative of the opposite end of the vehicular spectrum from the Roller. He was looking for something much more pedestrian —cargo space. Post divorce, he was looking to lugged boxes of his daughters' books, clothes and bedding to his new digs. Yes, the Roller as U-Haul substitute — "Hey, it's got a four comforter trunk" — must surely rank as one of the most unusual compliments Roller engineers are likely to boast. I'm also pretty sure the big Wraith was the first Roller to grace the parking lot of the Bayshore condominiums; most certainly, the first doubling as pickup truck.
Indeed, there's just so much about a Roller to marvel. I've just touched on the very tip of the iceberg, not yet mentioning details like real aluminum switchgear where lesser cars use aluminized plastic, a clock that looks like it costs at least $10,000 and, well, you get the idea. Any Rolls-Royce is a rolling boudoir, the company's two-door sports coupe even more so since a 5,285-millimetre long coupe that primarily sits two is, by definition, an indulgence.
As to why I haven't touched on typical road test qualities, like how the Wraith handles and brakes or, indeed, whether it's even a good car – it really is – not one of my friends gave a damn. It's probably the only attribute they share with the people who can actually afford a Rolls-Royce.
Rear-wheel-drive luxury coupe
6.6-litre turbocharged V12
624 horsepower @ 5,250 rpm; 642 lb.-ft. of torque @ 1,550 to 5,000 rpm
Eight-speed automatic
Four-wheel disc with ABS
255/45R20 front; 285/40 R20 rear
$411,250/$465,825
$6,995
(L/100km) 19 city, 12.5 highway
Twin turbocharged 6.6L V12, Satellite Aided 8-speed automatic transmission, power windows, lock and mirrors, 4-zone climate control air conditioning, Electronically regulated Coach Doors with power closing assistance, leather seats, heated seats, ventilated seats, heated leather steering wheel, Satellite Navigation system, Premium audio system with 600-watt 10-channel amplifier, 16 speakers with subwoofers, 20.5 GB hard disc for music files from either the USB or CD player, Dynamic Cruise Control, 360-view camera, Head-up display, onboard navigation, retractable Spirit of Ecstasy badge, Self-righting wheel centers, Integrated Teflon coated umbrellas in front wings, front airbags, driver's and front passenger's side impact airbags, curtain head protection system, knee airbag, Adaptive Cruise Control, Four channel Anti-lock Braking System, Brake Energy Regeneration, Dynamic Brake Control, Dynamic Stability Control including Dynamic Traction Control and Cornering Brake Control.� �Electric Parking Brake featuring hill hold function and Dynamic Emergency Brake, Driver and front passenger airbags, side impact airbags (front), active knee protection (front), Head Protection System (front and rear) and more
Starlight Headliner ($17,100), Rolls-Royce Bespoke Audio ($10,475), Drivers Assistance system ($8,475), leather floormats ($5,525), Black Side Frame Finishers ($5,525) Black outer two-tone steering wheel ($3,250), RR Monogram to all Headrests ($1,375), RR inlays to monitor lid ($1,075)
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